And when you have a tiny baby, these burps are music to your ears. It is part of the feeding ritual that you go through with your new baby every few hours. And as we all know, every noise that your baby makes is just precious and music to your ears. Strangely enough, even formerly offensive noises are wonderful. Gas makes you happy because it makes them feel better.
Now, when describing my babies today, I would not use the adjective "new" to describe them. Do I still think that every noise that they make is precious? Well, not so much. But I try to roll with it and hope that someday the mere sound of a bodily function will not produce crazy laughter. And then I look at my 34 year old husband who is also beside himself with crazy laughter and realize that "someday" may never come.
So anyway, one night at supper everyone was particularly low and in really bad moods. I was practically tap dancing to get everyone to be nice and perk up. I got nothing in return. They were still in the dumps. Then someone burped a little burp. And I flashed back to a game that we all used to play as kids. Whenever someone burps, you have to put your thumb in the middle of your forehead with your fingers up. And the last person to do this has to "eat" the burp. Charming, right? Well, I was desperate and willing to try anything to turn our supper frown upside down. So I just threw my hand up there. David remembered this game, too, so he threw his hand up to his forehead. They looked at us like we were NUTS. So we explained to them what this game was all about. Needless to say, our supper turned out fine.
Everyone had fun and I feel confident that our digestion was aided by the multiple times that we burped.
Better out than in" according to Shrek and Fiona, right?
Well, toward the end of our supper, I explained to them that this was a game to play at home only. I did not want them going to school and embarrassing me, you know? I mean, I like people thinking that David and I are model parents who would never condone such a thing, much less teach it to them. They both agreed to keep it just between us. I guess I should have known. . .
A few weeks later, we were at Jessa's school Valentine's Day party. There were several moms there to help. I was handling the veggie tray. It was such a nice party. Kids excited about their cards. Lots of red and white and pink decorations were all over the place. Really a nice party, you know? And as I was walking around helping to pass out the healthy snacks that we were serving at the party, I looked up and couldn't believe my eyes. The group of desks where Jessa and Spencer were sitting had about 10 kids. And ALL 10 of them had their thumbs pressed to their foreheads with their fingers outstretched, giggling. My eyes fell on Jessa who was beaming with pride at how much all of her friends enjoyed this new game she taught them.
Ah, my children. Their little minds tickle me to death.
At Momma's house last weekend, Spencer was starting to take a bath. I was busy helping Jessa get situated because she took her bath first. So I was minding my business and the door cracked and I saw a naked little Spencer. And he had a serious look of concern on his face. "Mom. I need you," he said. I hopped up and headed back to see what the crisis was. By the look on his face, it was pretty serious. So he marches himself right back to the bathroom. He stood next to the tub and put his hand on his naked hip. He looked right at me and with a furrowed brow said, "Mom, this bath is not going well." He paused and I tried hard not to laugh. He was solemn as a judge. So I said, "What seems to be the trouble?" And he stood there resembling a jaybird and showed me with animated hand gestures the serious troubles he was having with the toys and the basket to hold the toys. And to close his mini dissertation, he placed his hand back on his hip and said, "See. This bath is just not going well."
Jessa and Spencer ran through the room last night fussing about something. And then they were off again. I peeked just in time to see them headed back my way. Jessa said, "Spencer, you can't hit me- I am a girl!" And he continued to chase her and they ran past me again and he hollered after her, "You are not a girl, you are a sister!" Can you see the distinction?
The other afternoon in the car, I said something about a woman. And then I said, "You know, like I am a woman." Spencer was all "No you are not a woman!" And I said, "Well, then what am I?" And he said with great authority, "You are a lady." Oh, OK, I thought. And then I made the mistake of asking him, "Well, what is the difference between a woman and a lady." He said, "Well, a woman is more fat." And I thought, oh how nice, he doesn't think of me as "fat." A girl always like to hear that, right?
(It should be noted here that I do not like the word "fat." I had a sorority sister in college that had a big night shirt that said, "I am not fat, I am fluffy." So that has sort of always been my thing. I tell the kids that if you want to describe someone, you should never say "fat." If you have to say anything, say "fluffy." It just sounds nicer. And so "fat" is a word that we NEVER use.)
When Jessa heard the word "fat" come out of his mouth, she said, "Spencer! Don't say fat, say fluffy, right Momma?" And I laughed and said, "Yes, Jessa, if you have to say anything, fluffy sounds much nicer." Then she said, "See, Spencer, so Momma IS a woman, just fluffy." Spencer giveth and Jessa taketh away.
So last thing, today I was thinking that we don't have Awana tomorrow night because it is Ash Wednesday. Which made me think that today was Fat Tuesday. And so at some point this evening, I said, "Hey, guys do you know what today is?" And they both said, "Nope." And so I was all, "Well, today is Fat Tuesday." They both gasped. They looked utterly shocked and no one spoke right away. After a few seconds, Jessa put her hand on her hip and said, "Uh, Mom, don't you mean 'fluffy Tuesday'?" And I laughed and said, "I guess you are right." They never forget anything. . .
So from the little crazy Keys and me, Happy Fluffy Tuesday!