Ah, my children. Their little minds tickle me to death.
At Momma's house last weekend, Spencer was starting to take a bath. I was busy helping Jessa get situated because she took her bath first. So I was minding my business and the door cracked and I saw a naked little Spencer. And he had a serious look of concern on his face. "Mom. I need you," he said. I hopped up and headed back to see what the crisis was. By the look on his face, it was pretty serious. So he marches himself right back to the bathroom. He stood next to the tub and put his hand on his naked hip. He looked right at me and with a furrowed brow said, "Mom, this bath is not going well." He paused and I tried hard not to laugh. He was solemn as a judge. So I said, "What seems to be the trouble?" And he stood there resembling a jaybird and showed me with animated hand gestures the serious troubles he was having with the toys and the basket to hold the toys. And to close his mini dissertation, he placed his hand back on his hip and said, "See. This bath is just not going well."
Jessa and Spencer ran through the room last night fussing about something. And then they were off again. I peeked just in time to see them headed back my way. Jessa said, "Spencer, you can't hit me- I am a girl!" And he continued to chase her and they ran past me again and he hollered after her, "You are not a girl, you are a sister!" Can you see the distinction?
The other afternoon in the car, I said something about a woman. And then I said, "You know, like I am a woman." Spencer was all "No you are not a woman!" And I said, "Well, then what am I?" And he said with great authority, "You are a lady." Oh, OK, I thought. And then I made the mistake of asking him, "Well, what is the difference between a woman and a lady." He said, "Well, a woman is more fat." And I thought, oh how nice, he doesn't think of me as "fat." A girl always like to hear that, right?
(It should be noted here that I do not like the word "fat." I had a sorority sister in college that had a big night shirt that said, "I am not fat, I am fluffy." So that has sort of always been my thing. I tell the kids that if you want to describe someone, you should never say "fat." If you have to say anything, say "fluffy." It just sounds nicer. And so "fat" is a word that we NEVER use.)
When Jessa heard the word "fat" come out of his mouth, she said, "Spencer! Don't say fat, say fluffy, right Momma?" And I laughed and said, "Yes, Jessa, if you have to say anything, fluffy sounds much nicer." Then she said, "See, Spencer, so Momma IS a woman, just fluffy."
Spencer giveth and Jessa taketh away.
So last thing, today I was thinking that we don't have Awana tomorrow night because it is Ash Wednesday. Which made me think that today was Fat Tuesday. And so at some point this evening, I said, "Hey, guys do you know what today is?" And they both said, "Nope." And so I was all, "Well, today is Fat Tuesday." They both gasped. They looked utterly shocked and no one spoke right away. After a few seconds, Jessa put her hand on her hip and said, "Uh, Mom, don't you mean 'fluffy Tuesday'?" And I laughed and said, "I guess you are right." They never forget anything. . .
So from the little crazy Keys and me,
Happy Fluffy Tuesday!