Sunday, July 11, 2010

You can't handle the truth

We are struggling with honesty And the truth. And NOT telling lies around here. I am trying to get the kids to understand that I am always WAY more upset when they do not tell me something than if they just own up to it. And I am even more upset if they lie. This is HARD for them to grasp because they figure it is better to not tell me that there is an entire glass of milk soaking into the carpet. I guess they think it will be a cool surprise when I smell it as it sours.
Or they are at the playground without permission and I find them and see that Jessa is COVERED in mud. And I say, "uh, what happened?" And she says, "I slipped." Um. No, I don't think that was it.
This was sort of a mug shot so that David could see the trouble they got into since he was out of town!
Their faces are so pitiful because they are in tons of trouble and they KNOW it!
Or I see Jessa on the couch, chewing gum. And then I later find gum behind the couch.

I ask, "Jessa, why did you do this?"
And she says, "I didn't do it."
Really, kid?

And Spencer is even worse than Miss Priss. See, he is so precious, and he never wants to upset anyone. If he spills something when you are watching him, he immediately starts crying and saying, "I'm Sorry" over and over. But if you happen to NOT be watching, well, that is a different story. It is sort of like pleading the fifth, I think, but he is not going to say ANYTHING that might incriminate himself. And from there, it is only a short leap to deny, deny deny!

We were at Bay's house the other afternoon. May was coming up here (she was a day behind the main traveling party to include, David, Bay, Nikki, Me, Jessa, Spencer, Abby, Dunken, and Max). And per tradition, every day that she drives up here, I make spaghetti at Bay's house so we can all eat together. So Jess, Spence, Nik, and I were all over there. Nik was with me in the kitchen cooking supper while the rugrats were in the den playing together. They were playing nicely for a long while. And then they weren't. We heard some fussing and raised voices, but we usually wait them out. Sometimes, they can work it out on their own. (when I say "sometimes," I mean almost never, but I can still hope, right? Optimism is one of my better qualities.) What most often happens, is that one or both come running to to tell me their woes. This time, it was Jessa.

She came in to tell me that Spencer had thrown a golf ball at her. Now, she is very dramatic, so it is never as bad as she makes it sound. Well, let me just tell you how it all went down.

Jess: Mah-uhm! Spencer threw a golf ball right at me. (whimper)
Me: Spencer, come in here. Jess, are you OK?
Jess: No! He really did, mom. And it really hurt. (wailing and moaning commence, you know, for effect)
Spencer: Yes, Momma. (he said ever so sweetly and innocently)
Me: Did you throw a golf ball at your sister?
Spencer: (crickets)
Jess: He did! He really did! Mom! And it hurt!
Me: Spencer, answer me. Did you throw a golf ball at Jessa?
Spencer: Uh, no. (looks down in classic fib-telling fashion)
Me: Jess, I got this. I can handle it.
Me: (to Spencer) Son. Did you throw a golf ball at your sister? Keeping in mind that I am always a lot more upset if you tell me a lie. Even if you do something wrong, it is always better to tell me the truth.
Spencer: (whines) Mah-uhm, listen. (this is the way he always starts an explanation these days)
Jess: MOM!
Me: (to Jess) Honey, I am the Mom. I can and will handle this. I promise that I will get it all straightened out.
Jess: Oh, well. OK. I think I am going to go into the den and watch Spongebob, OK, Mom? And you can just stay in here with him and try to uncover the truth.

Yep. She said that. "try and uncover the truth."

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Oh My! That picture is awesome! I love reading your stories! I have been reading mostly on my reader and forget to get on and comment on them. I love your patience and optimism with your two adorable kiddos.