My mom gave this t-shirt for Christmas the year Jessa was born. At the time, I thought that I "got it." After all, I had a 2 month old; I had not slept in about 2 months. The newborn days seem so hard when you are in the middle of them. You feel unsure about every decision and you second guess every thing you do. But of course, you also have this precious new baby to love and take care of. As they grow, some things get easier and many things get harder. It is nice when they can tell you what hurts or what is wrong, but they can also talk back, argue, and tell you NO. Whatever the age, I believe the statement on this t-shirt always rings true.
You may be wondering why this is on my mind today. . . I am about to tell you.
I have had a bad week. I have had a pity party or two about the moving, house, deployment stuff. My brother Lucas had a tonsillectomy yesterday, so of course, that was on my mind. (he is ok, by the way. His throat hurts like heck, but he is enjoying lots of ice cream and liquid pain medication!) To add to the stress, this morning was Spencer's first dentist appointment. I was anxious about how he would react. It was not a fun experience with Jessa, so I was preparing myself. Plus, Spencer is NOT a good haircut-ee. He does not like being still, so I was braced for the worst.
We are at the dentist. And Spencer had a big pout on his face with folded arms and was saying "I don't want go dentist" " I want to go us house!" So he was clearly anxious and worried. He wanted me to "hold you, Mommy." There I stand in the waiting room in my white shirt and khaki pants, and Spencer burped. I looked at him just in time to watch him throw up all over me and him! So I run to the bathroom to try to clean him up. He threw up a little more, and I was glad he refused the donut I offered him for breakfast. At this point I am not sure if this is a virus or just anxiety. I decided in case it is the latter, we'd try to proceed. We did. It was pretty bad, there was screaming, crying, and general trauma. My heart was breaking and I wanted to cry with him, but I refrained. We made it through with no more throw up. But on the way out, we made a stop at the bathroom for a little more throwing up.
As we are leaving, we see it pouring down rain. Now we are covered in throw-up AND wet. I see this as a positive because maybe the rain made us smell a little better. When we get to the car, he was fine and wanted to go to Wal-Mart to buy his toy that I promised him after the dentist. Luckily, he was ok until we got home. But the rest of the day entailed him changing clothes 5 times, me changing clothes 4 times, stripping the bed once, and lots and lots of lysol! I have scrubbed sinks, counters, toilets, floors, counters, and my hands and worrying myself sick. I am about to take a shower because I can still smell it everywhere. I think it must be in my hair or something. . .
Optimism alert: My mom raised me with the mantra "Things are never so bad that they couldn't be worse!" (1) No one wanted to see the house today, whew! (2) Because we had the unfortunate pleasure of being at the dentist office when it started, Spencer was not in school. I think it would have been much more upsetting to him if he was not with me.
AND he is a sweet patient. He is agreeable and takes whatever medicine you offer him. Dunken coughed this afternoon and he said "Dunken is yike me, mommy. He is sick, too. We match!" (Spencer loves to match with everyone.) And I was telling them not to drink after each other because we did not want Jessa to get sick. So he was offering Thomas some Sprite this evening and said "Mommy, Thomas can't drink my brite. We not want him to get sick!" He wants to lay on me and be in my lap all the time when he feels bad, and I enjoy the snuggling, plus I can monitor him more closely. After the day we had, I am gun shy. Every time he burps, I grab the "throw-up bowl" and put it in our laps. One time, he burped, I grabbed it, he dutifully leaned over to the bowl. After a minute, he did not lift his head, but he cut his eyes up at me and said "Mommy, I not have to." Bless his heart! He was going to hang his head over that bowl and try since that is what I wanted.
Jessa is only moderately sympathetic. When he wanted to build castles with her, she asked me "Will he be in big trouble if he throws up on the blocks?" I told her "No, it would not be his fault. He is sick." And she said "If he throws up, will you clean the blocks?" Concern for the blocks, not your brother, nice! At supper, I decided we could all have a bland supper so as not to tempt him to eat anything that might further upset his tummy. I made white rice and toast. Jessa asked,"Is this it? Just rice? Don't we usually have something with the rice?"
Pictured: the "just rice supper" and the blocks of concern
Days like today I miss being able to ask David to pick up pedialyte on his way home. I miss having someone else to put the sheets in the dryer. I wish for someone to commiserate with. My headache is so bad that I believe it is past the realm of modern medical science. I have more clothes to fold and laundry to finish. Oh yeah, and I have to have a shower!!
Today my job was tough, but I still loved it. And I wouldn't trade it for any other job in the world.
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