Froggie Door?

We have a doggie door.  We have had one since we lived at Ft. Stewart, the second time.  It is in the storm door, and we move it with us.  David has to figure out how to get it installed at each house.  He does this with incredible skill, many trips to Lowe's, and some choice words.

I love this darn thing.  It makes life so easy.  I never worry about getting stuck somewhere and the dogs not being able to go out to the bathroom.  It does have a few drawbacks.  On occasion, Molly has been known to catch birds.  Sometimes she brings in dead birds.  Sometimes she brings in live birds.  On these days, I rethink the convenience of the doggie door.  I have made great strides in my dealing with unwanted creatures in the house, but things with skeletal systems are a problem for me.  Birds are new, since we got Molly.  But I have had to handle lizards and frogs when we were at Ft. Stewart, the first time.  (I may be using the word handle loosely.  In this case, it may mean screaming and crying like a 2 year old, trapping them under Tupperware, asking David to come home (from Iraq), and paying neighbor children to help.)

I don't like dealing with frogs or toads outside, and certainly not INSIDE.  So imagine my surprise panic, when my sweet boy came into my room after the whole house was in bed to report that there was a frog in the house.  He saw it in the kitchen when he went to get some water.  And he thinks it must have come in through the doggie door.  Oh. Crap.

I would love to tell you that I kept my cool.  And that I sprung into action.  Picture me calmly walking down the hall, telling Spencer about all of God's creatures being precious.  I lean down, I say, "Come here, little fella."  I carefully lift the sweet little frog up.  Spencer pets him on the head.  We smile, and share a moment.  Then Spencer opens the front door while I carry Freddie (because that's what we named him, of course) out into the front yard.  We put him down in the wet grass.  We wave to Freddie.  He starts to hop off, back to his froggie family.  Then he stops, looks over his shoulder back at us, his saviors.  And we could almost swear he winks at us as he hops out into the night.  I put my arm around Spencer.  He puts his arm around me.  And we walk back into the house together, basking in the glow of this precious moment in time.

That my friends in NOT what happened at our house tonight.  I immediately started freaking out and telling Spencer he is a boy.  Boys are supposed to handle things like this.  I had children so that I would not have to deal with this sort of thing.  A hundred years ago, my kids would have been working in the fields on our family farm.  Now, all I ask is that they take care of stray critters that wander into the house.  Dang it, I don't ask much!  Put your clothes in the hamper and catch frogs.  That's it!  You are letting me down, son.

So he and I are both talking fast and sweating.  We were relieved that the dogs were already in bed.  I closed my bedroom door to keep it that way.  Our first order of business was containing it.  See, neither one of us were willing to just pick up the little frog.  So while we formulated a plan, we needed to make sure he couldn't hop away where we couldn't see him.  How could we sleep with a rogue frog hopping around willy nilly?  So we cornered him with a framed picture, a card table, a box, and a poster.














So we needed to trap him.  A cup would be too small, and it would require precision.  I went for a bowl. 

And then we decided that we needed Jessa.  She is the toughest of the 3 of us.  She was already asleep.  So being the caring, amazing mom that I am, I let her keep sleeping I tiptoed in her room and woke her up.  Go ahead and give up ladies, Mom of the year, right here!

My daughter, who has caught frogs and begged to keep them, who is my tomboy wannabe, was not interested in helping.  She wouldn't even leave her room.

So Spencer is on one side of the dog gate.  He was not taking any chances on my barrier failing.  I offered him $10 to pick it up.  He said he would with gloves.  I said, "Really?  If I search and find gloves, you think you can pick it up for me?"  He thought for a minute and said, "No. I don't think so."  Thanks for your honesty son.

Then I offer to buy them a new game they have been wanting.  I was desperate people.  It was 10:30.  On a school night.  I needed to get this situation under control.  The time for drastic measures had arrived.  The frog has moved a couple times.  He was glaring at us with those shifty eyes.  He was planning something.  We needed to move.

Once the game was on the table, the kids were way more excited about helping.
Jessa changed clothes and put on gloves.

On of my shirts and gloves - frog germs, don't ya know?!

 She crept up behind the frog,

and she was able to toss the bowl on top of it.  Progress!

Then she scooted it over to the rug using the bowl, while it was trapped under.  Then I propped the front door open, risking 52 other frogs bum rushing the house.  And Jessa held the bowl down while Spencer pulled the rug closer to the front door.

Then they decided to try wrapping the rug around the bowl.  Then Jessa picked it up and hurried out to the front steps.  Then Spencer hollers from inside, "There's another one!"  So Jessa and I peek under the bowl.  It was NOT another one.  In the shuffle, they let him out.

So we are back to square one.
But Jessa REALLY wants that game.

Formulating Plan B?

So she tosses the bowl back on it.

But now the rug is not in play because it is still on the front porch.  Spencer wants to get another rug, but I convince them that we would risk him getting out.  The rug didn't work so well the first time.

 Then we used the broom to slide the bowl over toward the front door.  But the door jam stopped us.  Then Jessa lifted the bowl slowly. She pointed the open part toward the door.  Once she lifted the bowl, we all cheered and shook the broom to make sure he kept heading on OUT the door.

Go frog go!  See him on the door jam?? (Jessa fell asleep with wet hair, can you tell?)

He did!

And all of this only took like 40 minutes.
Impressive, no?
We high-fived each other and started down the hall to head back to bed.  Jessa said that she was going to write about this in her writing journal.  Spencer said he was going to choose "Work on Writing" as his first Daily 5 to write about the 2 frogs in the house.  (He was still pretty convinced there were 2 of them.)  I am thrilled to provide near death experiences for them to write about.  Not a near death experience, you say?  Did you see the size of that thing?  The cold look in his eye?  We are lucky to be alive, I tell you!

We hadn't made it 3 steps, when Jessa said, "Now, about that game you promised to buy..."
It will be worth every penny.

4th Grade Politics

So, our Jessa had a tough time adjusting to the move from Scott to Ft. Campbell last summer.  She is a classic "grass is always greener" child who fondly recalls every aspect of life in Illinois through a lovely shade of rose colored glasses.  To be fair, I may have a touch of this as well...  It was a wonderful assignment, but here is good, too!  Last year, she just refused to see it, though.  And every tiny issue she had would make her wish she wasn't here.  She wanted to be back at Scott.  Her best friend in the world, Lauren, moved last summer, too.  But she just couldn't seem to get past the fact that all of her problems (at least in her mind) started when we moved.

I had anticipated this.  They both started to school at Scott.  Jessa went there for 3 years - and that is a long time in the life of an Army kid.  But I did not know how difficult her adjustment would be.  She liked her teacher a lot, and she was involved in activities.  Her grades were good.  But most days, she begged me to let her stay home.  We persevered, though and finished 3rd grade.  Jessa was THRILLED to have summer stretching out before her. 

So when it was time to go back to school, I was a little nervous.  My heart couldn't take another tough year.  I always knew she was fine once she got to school.  Last year, I checked on her lots during the day without her ever knowing it.  But those mornings were ROUGH.

Before school started, she met her teacher because we were at school with the PTO serving the teachers a welcome back breakfast.  And she was instantly excited! 

School started.  She didn't complain.
She still didn't enjoy getting up early, but once she was awake, she was in a half way decent mood.
She didn't fuss about homework.
She was overall, in a good mood.

Then she came home and told me that she wanted to run for Student Council.  As a former Student Council Rep myself, I was so proud.  And ever since she found out about that, she has been pumped!  Even more excited to go to school.  She wrote her speech the day she brought home the permission slip.  She made her poster that weekend.

She came up with her slogan - "Jessa is the Key to Success!"  I told her that I married her Daddy with the thought in mind that someday she or Spencer may need to campaign for something.  Talk about planning ahead!

She came up with ideas of things to hand out to her class to help them remember to vote for her.  I helped with the technical parts, but she really did all the hard work herself.  She even solicited a campaign contribution from May and Bay.  Campaign Merchandise does not come cheap!
She was so focused!  So driven!  So excited!

Bookmarks

Buttons

Key Chains :)

Smarties

Pencils - to cast their vote!

Her POSTER!

She practiced her speech.  A LOT.  She read it to David in Afghanistan more than once.  She read it to May and Bay.  And let's just say that Spencer and I could probably give the darn thing without looking at the notes.

She paid attention to how she dressed every day.  Her goal was "professional."  As her mother, I LOVED this because once she started dressing herself, I am not always totally impressed with her choices.

After a week of campaigning, Monday was the speech.  There were 6 children in Jessa's class running.  And all of their speeches were really good.  They were all so brave - they didn't even look nervous.

Note how professional she looks.

 Immediately after the speeches, they got out a piece of paper and voted.  Each kid could vote for 2 people to represent their class.  I promise you that I cannot remember the last time I had so any butterflies in my stomach!  After the vote, her teacher said that it would be announced FRIDAY. 

FRIDAY!?  We have to wait 4 more days?  Really?
I was afraid I might not makes it.  But it was kind of nice to be able to relax and know that it was all over, one way or another.

Then this afternoon, just before dismissal, there was an announcement.
The newly elected Student Council - the announcement we had been waiting for.
A DAY EARLY!

5th grade went first.
Torture! 
Hurry up!

Now 4th Grade!
JESSA KEY WINS!

Whew.
She is beside herself.
And I am so relieved. 
Her hopes were up really high. 
I was really concerned about nursing her bruised ego if she did not win. 
She worked so hard.
I am glad that she can see her hard work pay off.
Plus, she gets to roll up her sleeves and get started right away.

Her first meeting is Monday.
Morning
At 7:30.
AM.
Yay.
I am happy for her, really I am.

9-11-01 reposted

Previously posted in 2011

We were in Germany.  David was at work.  At the time, he worked in downtown Mannheim and he wore civilian clothes.  He was the only American Military person who worked in his office.  I was at home in our stairwell apartment.  We lived on the second floor.  Our housing area was open.  And we did not have to show an ID to enter.  There were no guards at the gate.  There was no gate. 

I loved the time difference because I could watch the Today show live broadcast on AFN (the Armed Forces Network), but it didn't start until 1 o'clock in the afternoon.  It was a normal, beautiful Tuesday afternoon in Germany.

Katie Couric interrupted a story to inform us that a plane had hit one of the towers of the World Trade Center.  I thought, just like everyone that someone must have fallen asleep of had a heart attack.  It was sad, sure.  I was a tragedy, of course.  But it had to be an accident, right?

They changed the course of the show and began broadcasting live views of the tower that had been hit.  There was smoke.  And everyone was speculating about what could have happened.  As the talked, the screen was still on the live shot.  I was still watching when the second plane came into view and hit the second tower.  At that point, like everyone else in the world, I knew this was big.  I called David.  I called Momma.  And my best friend Tonya came straight to my apartment.  And along with a friend of hers from home, we were glued to the television all day and all night.  Pretty quickly, the American Military switched our security status to Delta.  This hadn't happened since David commissioned.  They started closing the streets to protect us.  There was even  brief talk of evacuating dependents.  We had no idea what was going to happen next.

In the days that followed, I was in awe of the outpouring of support that the Germans.  They placed candles and flowers at the edges of the post, at the newly formed gates.  They had services of remembrance.  They were truly heartbroken for all Americans that day.  And while I missed being on American soil with my fellow Americans, we were safe in Mannheim with our wonderful German friends and neighbors. 

I will never forget how it felt.  I will never forget the images that I could not stop watching flash across my television screen all day and all night from more than 4,000 miles away.  Or being in the post chapel holding candles with all of the other Americans who were with us in Germany.  The feelings of helplessness and sadness and grief and fear and anger that were mixed with pride and patriotism and adoration of all of the heroes that emerged.

And I will always be so grateful to our men and women in uniform who have been fighting back ever since. 

Below is a copy of the text of the address that President Bush gave on September 11, 2001.  In my opinion, these words capture the feelings that we all felt on that day; the feelings that we all still feel today, 10 years later.  May God Bless everyone affected by the horrible acts of September 11.  May God Bless all our military who continue to protect us and our freedoms.  And may God Bless America.

Good evening.

Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly terrorist acts. The victims were in airplanes or in their offices: secretaries, business men and women, military and federal workers, moms and dads, friends and neighbors. Thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil, despicable acts of terror. The pictures of airplanes flying into buildings, fires burning, huge -- huge structures collapsing have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness, and a quiet, unyielding anger. These acts of mass murder were intended to frighten our nation into chaos and retreat. But they have failed. Our country is strong.

A great people has been moved to defend a great nation. Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve. America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining. Today, our nation saw evil -- the very worst of human nature -- and we responded with the best of America. With the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could.

Immediately following the first attack, I implemented our government's emergency response plans. Our military is powerful, and it's prepared. Our emergency teams are working in New York City and Washington D.C. to help with local rescue efforts. Our first priority is to get help to those who have been injured, and to take every precaution to protect our citizens at home and around the world from further attacks. The functions of our government continue without interruption. Federal agencies in Washington which had to be evacuated today are reopening for essential personnel tonight and will be open for business tomorrow. Our financial institutions remain strong, and the American economy will be open for business as well.

The search is underway for those who were behind these evil acts. I have directed the full resources of our intelligence and law enforcement communities to find those responsible and to bring them to justice. We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them.

Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve, for the children whose worlds have been shattered, for all whose sense of safety and security has been threatened. And I pray they will be comforted by a Power greater than any of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil for you are with me.

This is a day when all Americans from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. America has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day, yet we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world.

Thank you. Good night. And God bless America.

http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/gwbush911addresstothenation.htm

My little boy, I mean man, I mean boy...

Spencer is a pretty funny little dude. 

 Many times when I recount things that he has said, I know that people aren't sure if I am exaggerating.  I assure you that I am not. 

Then even if people believe me, it does lose a little something in translation. 
So please know that even as I type, I am aware that no matter how hard I try, I can never fully capture the silly nuttiness that is Spencer.

One of the funny things he does these days is distinguish himself as being a "man" or a kid."  And of course, it always suits his needs.  For example, I am fussing at them to stop acting up in a store.  He looks up at me with puppy dog eyes and says, "Mom, we are just kids.  Kids having fun." - which momentarily makes me question my fussing.  Am I being too hard on them?  They are just kids, after all.  WAIT A SECOND!  Then I snap back to reality and realize that they can still be "just kids" without Spencer giving Jessa a piggy back ride while she pushes every button on every toy on the entire row while singing "My Diamond Sword."  They can be "just kids."  Just well-behaved kids.

On some days, he will want to be "manly."  "Boy am I hungry mom, I need a manly snack."  Then 20 minutes later, I ask him to kill a spider, you know, something "manly."  Then he comes back with "Manly?  No, mom, I a not manly.   I am 'kidly.'  I can't do that!"

He recently started subscribing to a magazine.  He thinks there are certain times and places that "men" need to be able to read their magazines.  He is relieved to finally always have a magazine to take with him into the certain place at that certain time to read his magazine.  You know, like "men" do?

As we all sit down to supper some nights, he will say, "I am starving!  Hurry up and say the blessing.  Mom!  A man's gotta eat!"  He does indeed.

Now this last one makes me giggle every time I think about it. 
At supper the other night, he said, out of the blue,
"Mom.  Remember when we lived at Scott?" 
Of course.
"And I was in Kindergarten?" 
Yes. 
"And I was in Mrs. K's class?" 
With you so far.
"And I had a locker?" 
Yep, still tracking.

"Did you know I had to share my locker with someone else?" 
Sure, I guess so.
"I did not like that."
Um, OK, what a random thought over tacos. 
I wonder why you didn't like sharing a locker, son. 
Please, do tell.
 
"Well, a man needs his own space." 
(trying not to laugh) 












"But don't worry, Mom.  I don't mind sharing here.  I mean, we do have 3 hooks."

Socks

Socks.  You need them.  You like them.  They keep your feet warm.  The can help you express your style.  They keep blisters away.  They can aid in the prevention of stinky feet.

I always buy the kids way more socks that they need.  The have a habit of losing them.  They take them off all over the place: the den, the kitchen, the car, the front yard, the back patio.

Last week, Jessa's drawer was full of clean pairs of socks.
Tuesday morning, when it was time to get ready for school, she was in her room getting ready.  And she hollered to me, "Mom, I don't have any clean socks!"  I was taken aback.  Less than a week ago, she had ALL clean socks.  I went into her room and saw this:

Looks pretty barren in there, huh?  She was right.  But where could they all have gone?  She has 50 pairs (I am guessing, but I am sure it is close to that.).  It has only been 4 days.  What is up?!

I checked Spencer's drawer.

Hmmm...  Jessa's should look like that, too.

I checked her dirty clothes.

AHA!

FULL of socks.

I asked her what happened.  She explained that she had gotten out of the shower and put on socks.  Then she walked around and decided that those socks were now too dirty for her bed.  So she got a new pair.  And then she went into the kitchen.  And that dirtied the new pair.  So she got another new pair.  And this went on all of the 4 day weekend.  And now it is Tuesday, time for school, and no clean socks.  Luckily there were clothes that I had folded and not had a chance to put away yet.  Those socks got us through the week.

Now it is the weekend.

I am doing laundry again.

Guess who is helping me wash socks??

And now I am considering keeping her socks in the strong box...

Swiffer: Not just for cleaning anymore

I love Swiffer!  I have loved Swiffer since they first came out with just the dry pads.  They are awesome for dusting and cleaning the floors.  I love Swiffer wet pads, too!  Perfect for cleaning up small sticky messes which shockingly occur quite often at my house.  (and sadly, it isn't usually the fault of my kids.  OK, fine, you can still tell what I had for lunch by looking at my shirt...)  I also LOVE those 360 dusters.  They are perfect for cleaning the air conditioner vent in my den.  AND the kids think they are cool, thus inspiring them to help around the house.  All awesome!  I cannot get on board with the Wet Jet.  The kids used to "help" Bay clean his floors at Scott with his.  Way messier than it was worth with my helpers.  But overall, I am a Swiffer super fan!

And now there is Lee and Morty Kauffman. I love those two!  The commercials are just adorable!  Jessa and Spencer even stop fast forwarding through commercials when they see Lee and Morty...  Watching them just makes you smile!

BUT even with all of those amazing things that I LOVE about Swiffer, I have not even told you what I love THE MOST.  Wanna know what my favorite part is?? 
Bug killing.

Please bear with me as I meander to my point -
So I used to be super scared of bugs.  I would scream and call for my Momma or Daddy to come and kill them.  Then I grew up and went away to college, and darn if my parents couldn't drive an hour and a half every time I saw a tiny spider.  I had to get over it, mostly.  I would throw a shoe or a book on the bug and move on.  This practice continued after I got married.  In Germany, David would come home from a couple of weeks in the field, and there would be heavy books all over the floor.  See, I mastered the killing of the bugs, but not the disposing of the carcass.  How gross!  David would shake his head, pick up the books, and clean up the nasty dried bug remains.

Once the kids were born, I had to get over it.  I mean, I can't raise them to be afraid, can I?  Plus, I need to be their hero.  And also, I may have run out of books during year long deployments...

So now, I can do it!  Do I like it? No!  Do I have to psych myself up and sometimes bite my tongue to keep from screaming like a girl?  Absolutely.  I even bought a fly swatter! 

I can smack them and keep moving!  I am tough!  The other morning, I pulled back the shower curtain at 6 AM and saw a ginormous cricket.  I calmly turned around, went into my closet, put on a boot, went back to the bathroom and stepped on it.  Did I think, "Man I wish David was here!"?  Yes, but the truth is, even if he were not deployed, he probably would have already been at PT.

Now.  What does this long, wordy story have to do with Swiffer??  Well, I can step on things, throw books on things, and swat things, but what happens if the bug is on the ceiling??  A wily roach?  Or even worse a wasp or hornet??  Swiffer to the rescue!

 The Swiffer mop is PERFECTION when it come to killing things to high to reach.  This morning, I went into the kitchen.  There was a HUGE hornet on the ceiling.  My initial response was "Oh crap!  How did that get in here?" and "How fast can I move to a new house?"  But once I got my bearings, I walked into the laundry room to retrieve my Swiffer mop.  I stealthily crept back into the kitchen and slowly raised my Swiffer mop to the ceiling. 

This is a dramatic reenactment...  I would never risk not properly disposing of the enemy by pausing for a photo op!

And I squashed it!  I may have stood there for 6 minutes or so to make sure that it was really dead.  Then I lowered the Swiffer mop and disposed of the carcass.  Just like that!

I know what you are thinking.
 Isn't she clever? 
Isn't she brave? 
Boy, does she have nerves of steel. 
You're right, of course.
I am pretty much a super hero.
Off to clean my cape in a hornet free house!

Pssst. What's the password?

Passwords are a part of our every day life these days, right?  Most people have to keep a list to keep up with all of them.  And then the Army makes you change it on a regular basis.  But with technology the way that it is, passwords are here to stay.

Not too long after both children figured out computers, they started watching our fingers as we entered passwords to get them to places they wanted to go.  Sometimes, we would consult them if we were having trouble remembering because they knew them so well.  They know Bay's passwords and May's passwords.  And of course, Jessa had a little bout with passwords several years ago ...  Now, our iTunes passwords are TOP SECRET, though, and we make them turn their heads before we enter it.  Don't need to pay for any more premium Angry Birds games, thank you very much.

And at school, both kids have to remember several logins and several passwords and even a pin code for lunch.  So one would think that sweet Spencer had this all figured out, right??

Well, he came to me a few days ago, all forlorn.

"Mom," he said, "I am locked out of my computer."  I was confused, how in heaven's name could this child be locked out of his computer.  He doesn't have it password protected.  It is HIS.  It never leaves the house.  "Why would it need a password?" I thought to myself.  And then I looked at my sweet child's sad face and asked him, "Son, when did your computer get a password?"  He replied, "Oh, I put one on it."  So I assumed that it was one of the passwords that he has seen us use before.  I typed a few.  They didn't work.  I asked him, "OK, Spence, what do you think your password is?"  And my smart, creative little boy did not bat an eye nor did he crack a smile.  As serious as he could be, he said, "Well, I am pretty sure that it is JaguarPajamaPants."  Um, well, I was not expecting that!  So I tried hard not to laugh because he was as solemn as a judge.  "Spencer, why in the world do you think that would be your password?  What would have made you pick that?"  And he looked up at me, and all matter-of-fact-like  said, "Well, it has always been my dream to see a jaguar wearing pajamas."  There you go.  It was as simple as that.

I was trying to Google this and find a solution.  David was attempting to help me long distance.  The other night, I even had him lay on my bed with his eyes closed and try and remember.  I was trying to pull a Cliff Huxtable making Vanessa retrace her steps and helping her find her report.  (spoiler alert: it was in the freezer.)  And he said, "Well, it used to be MagicOfMagic.  But that was before I changed my user name to Dog Lover 152."  I asked, "Honey, why DogLover152?  Were DogLover1 through DogLover151 taken??"  "Oh no," he said, "I just like the number 152."

Oh, DogLover152!  What is your password??

 So I asked him for other ideas.  "Maybe it had a 5 on the end or maybe it was 55 or wait, 15." he said.  I tried that.  All three.  He said, "Try, YayMeBooYou33."  That wasn't it, either.  In the end, retracing his steps didn't help.  I am no Bill Cosby.  So, I had to take this expensive paper weight across the street to my computer fixer.  I felt like I was giving up, but with Spencer's little brain, we may NEVER think of it.  I am sure David would have already figured it out, but I am not a computer wizard like he is.  After about 4 minutes and $19.38, the computer was unlocked and the nice computer man made me the admin, and I am the only one who knows the password.

And FYI, even after I told him NOT to put a password on ANYTHING else or he would become a sweet little Amish boy who only plays with wooden toys, he sheepishly informed me that he had put a password on his iPod.

I took a deep breath to keep from being angry.
"What is it, son?" I asked.
"Oh, Mom, don't worry.  It is really easy to remember," he said.
"Spencer, what is it?!" I implored.
"PopTartCode45" he replied.
 

Good thing he is cute...

 

Oh. My.

"Hey, mom?"
"Yes, Spencer."
"Maybe the password was JaguarPajamaShirt or it could have been JaguarPajamaNightCap?"
"Good night, Spencer."