Saturday, September 7, 2013

Swiffer: Not just for cleaning anymore

I love Swiffer!  I have loved Swiffer since they first came out with just the dry pads.  They are awesome for dusting and cleaning the floors.  I love Swiffer wet pads, too!  Perfect for cleaning up small sticky messes which shockingly occur quite often at my house.  (and sadly, it isn't usually the fault of my kids.  OK, fine, you can still tell what I had for lunch by looking at my shirt...)  I also LOVE those 360 dusters.  They are perfect for cleaning the air conditioner vent in my den.  AND the kids think they are cool, thus inspiring them to help around the house.  All awesome!  I cannot get on board with the Wet Jet.  The kids used to "help" Bay clean his floors at Scott with his.  Way messier than it was worth with my helpers.  But overall, I am a Swiffer super fan!

And now there is Lee and Morty Kauffman. I love those two!  The commercials are just adorable!  Jessa and Spencer even stop fast forwarding through commercials when they see Lee and Morty...  Watching them just makes you smile!

BUT even with all of those amazing things that I LOVE about Swiffer, I have not even told you what I love THE MOST.  Wanna know what my favorite part is?? 
Bug killing.

Please bear with me as I meander to my point -
So I used to be super scared of bugs.  I would scream and call for my Momma or Daddy to come and kill them.  Then I grew up and went away to college, and darn if my parents couldn't drive an hour and a half every time I saw a tiny spider.  I had to get over it, mostly.  I would throw a shoe or a book on the bug and move on.  This practice continued after I got married.  In Germany, David would come home from a couple of weeks in the field, and there would be heavy books all over the floor.  See, I mastered the killing of the bugs, but not the disposing of the carcass.  How gross!  David would shake his head, pick up the books, and clean up the nasty dried bug remains.

Once the kids were born, I had to get over it.  I mean, I can't raise them to be afraid, can I?  Plus, I need to be their hero.  And also, I may have run out of books during year long deployments...

So now, I can do it!  Do I like it? No!  Do I have to psych myself up and sometimes bite my tongue to keep from screaming like a girl?  Absolutely.  I even bought a fly swatter! 

I can smack them and keep moving!  I am tough!  The other morning, I pulled back the shower curtain at 6 AM and saw a ginormous cricket.  I calmly turned around, went into my closet, put on a boot, went back to the bathroom and stepped on it.  Did I think, "Man I wish David was here!"?  Yes, but the truth is, even if he were not deployed, he probably would have already been at PT.

Now.  What does this long, wordy story have to do with Swiffer??  Well, I can step on things, throw books on things, and swat things, but what happens if the bug is on the ceiling??  A wily roach?  Or even worse a wasp or hornet??  Swiffer to the rescue!

 The Swiffer mop is PERFECTION when it come to killing things to high to reach.  This morning, I went into the kitchen.  There was a HUGE hornet on the ceiling.  My initial response was "Oh crap!  How did that get in here?" and "How fast can I move to a new house?"  But once I got my bearings, I walked into the laundry room to retrieve my Swiffer mop.  I stealthily crept back into the kitchen and slowly raised my Swiffer mop to the ceiling. 

This is a dramatic reenactment...  I would never risk not properly disposing of the enemy by pausing for a photo op!
And I squashed it!  I may have stood there for 6 minutes or so to make sure that it was really dead.  Then I lowered the Swiffer mop and disposed of the carcass.  Just like that!

I know what you are thinking.
 Isn't she clever? 
Isn't she brave? 
Boy, does she have nerves of steel. 
You're right, of course.
I am pretty much a super hero.
Off to clean my cape in a hornet free house!

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