Sunday, September 22, 2013

Still my little girl

Jessa cannot wait to grow up one minute, and then wants to be a 4 year old the next.  She wants to be in college and preschool all at the same time.  I can remember wishing I was little again, too.  And I also remember wanting to be older.  This is the story of life, though, right?  We can't wait to grow up and then when we are grown, we long for the carefree days of childhood.  (I mainly just wish someone would make me take a nap.)

Jessa has taken to wearing these shoes that are almost high heels.  They are wedges, and they are fancy.  Someone made her feel bad about how tall she was last year, so now she always tries to make herself look taller.  The wedges fit the bill, but they make her look so grown-up.  Sometimes I can't believe how much.  Most of the time when I look at her, I still see my baby, you know?

So this morning, we went to church.  She wore her fancy shoes, of course.  And it was an absolutely perfect day.  After church, we went to Subway and picked up lunch.  Then we took it to a playground to eat.  They hurried through their sandwiches to get to the playing part of our impromptu picnic. 

As they started to run toward the play area, Jessa realized that wearing those fancy shoes was not the best choice for playing.  So even though she looked so pretty and so grown-up in her church clothes and those fancy shoes, at that moment, she wanted nothing more than to still be a little girl. 
 So she kicked off her shoes and off she went.

And I enjoyed watching her play a little bit more than I usually do.  Because she is growing up.  She is learning so much.  She understands so much more.  Every day, I feel so proud of her accomplishments and her amazing spirit.  But every day, I also feel sad because she is a little less my baby girl.

So on this beautiful first day of fall, I watched my girl play.

I watched her hair blow in the wind.  I watched the sun shine on her hair.
I heard her rich imagination as she described avoiding the lava covering the playground
and the kid Olympics that she and Spencer were competing in.  I celebrated her victories when she made it across the balance beam with no hands.
And when she climbed all the way to the top of "Mt. Everest." 
 I listened to her make beautiful music on the drums.
And I loved looking at her feet.
Her sweet bare feet. 
With dirty bottoms from playing without her shoes.
With chipped toe nail polish.
And I savored the afternoon with my Jessa, who is still my little girl, no matter how fancy her shoes are or how much she can't wait to live in the dorm.


Jenny Welch said...

Gosh, Dana! I can so relate to that feeling of not wanting your little girl to grow up. At the same time it is amazing to watch them grow up into such inquisitive little human beings. Thanks for sharing. I am glad you had a good day!
Jenny W

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