Thursday, September 26, 2013

Life with Jack Handey

I may be dating myself a tad, but who remembers Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey?  We used to love those things!  My whole family would look forward to them every week on Saturday Night Live.

Well, I live with Jack Handey.  Well, not the Jack Handey, but our own smaller version of Jack Handey.  We just call him Spencer.

Spencer is always thinking.  And always planning.  I never know what questions are going to come out of his mouth, what questions I will then have to answer, or what plans he is making.  Here are a few recent topics that little Jack Spencer has wanted to discuss.

S: Mom, what is the difference between a Catholic and a Methodist?  Or what about someone who is Jewish?
This led to a lengthy discussion where I explained Protestants and Martin Luther.  To which he said, Martin Luther KING?  And I said, no.  And he asked again, oh, you mean Martin Luther KING JUNIOR?  It took some time, but I think he eventually got it...
S: Mom when I grow up, I want to have a cat.
Me: OK, buddy. That sounds good.
S: Do you think I should have him micro-chipped?
Me: I guess so, that is probably a good idea.
S: Yeah, that's what I thought, too.
S: Mom, I know that we have to move because of the army.  Can people who are not in the army move, too?
Me: Of course they can, it is just a little harder because the army pays for our moves and schedules everything for us.
S: Aw.  But when I am a grown-up, I want to move. But I don't want to be in the army.
Me: Son, you can still move.  Daddy and I will help you.
S:Oh, OK, good.

S: Mom, when I grow up, will you be upset if I don't live in the same state as you?
Me: No, son, but it would make things more convenient when you visit me the required once a week.
(he grinned at my joke)
S: OK, well, I think I want to live in either Illinois or South Carolina.
Me: Alright, where in Illinois?
S: O'Fallon.
Me: Perfect!  And you already know where to go to church!
S: Yes.  Wait, what was the other place I said I wanted to live?
Me: South Carolina
S: Oh, yeah.  What's in South Carolina?  Would I like it there?
Me: Oh yes!  There is Charleston and the beach and it is close to GA.
S: OK, then.  I will live in Illinois or South Carolina.
S: Mom, I am going to open a school when I grow up.  And I will be the Principal.
Me: That is a great idea, buddy.
S: Do you think that I can still teach at my school, even if I am the Principal?
Me: Of course!  It will be your school.  You can do whatever you want, I think.
S: Good.  I think I will teach Pre-K.
Me: OK.  Why Pre-K?
S: Well, that is before the kids start to get rough.
Me: Son, do you need to tell me something about school?
S: No, why?
S: Mom, when I grow up, do you think I could go to Niagara Falls?
And he has planned his future dogs.  They will be one boy names Gulliver and one girl named Constance.

S: Mom, can I ask you a question, since you know, you are a grown up?
Me: Ok, sure.
S: Can 2nd graders be boyfriend and girlfriend?
Me: Well, I think that 2nd graders can have crushes and like each other and be really good friends.  But y'all are a little too young to be too serious.
S: OK.  It's just that my friend Chris LOVES someone in our class a lot.  And he said that you can are boyfriends and girlfriends until you are 18 and then you get married.
Me:  Well, maybe it is OK to get married when you are 18 in Chris's family, but in this family you can't get married until you graduate college.
S: Oh, OK.
Me: You have to be able to take care of your wife.  You need a good job, so college first, OK?
S: That makes sense.
I was in the middle of writing this post when Spence struck again:
While I was cooking supper, he was hanging in the kitchen with me.  He ran his hand along the wall.
S: Mom, I think I know why our walls are white.  I think that a lot of Christians all have white walls.
Me: Why do you think that, buddy?
S: Well because white walls are like clouds.
Me: Yep, they are.
S: And clouds are very peaceful.  And if you are a Christian, you are peaceful.

This kid!
I pray that I can always answer his questions and appreciate his thoughts.
And I pray harder that he is always as receptive to my answers, even if they aren't exactly what he wants to hear.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Looking forward to Spencer's move to Illinois. Make sure he calls me!

Former preschool teacher